School and Academics for me, last 2 years

So I stayed up till practically 5AM last night finishing my biochem assignment.  I finished it and was decently satisfied with the answers to the questions.  I’m pretty sure I can pass.  But I’m still fretting about it a little, because I want to do more than pass =p.  Someone reminded me that it’s “only worth 5%”, but every mark counts right?

Believe it or not, Just half a year ago, I didn’t really go to school by that statement.  If you’re reading this and only just met me this year, then you probably don’t know a lot about my past academics in university.  But when I look back, I can only see how pathetic and stupid I was towards school.

I came to university with great excitement from high school.  To meet new people, gain new experiences and also to learn more.  But in high school, I was a complete slacker.  I don’t even know if I ever “studied” for a test or exam EVER.  I just went to class and did my homework (with procrastination of course), but NEVER really reviewed anything.  But, I’m sure as many people can attest, high school is super easy when compared to university.  I did mighty well mark-wise.

So I came having practically no experience on what it really meant to “work my butt off”.  I had never really stressed too much in high school, and so I had the same attitude coming in.  Suffice it to say that over 4 terms in school the last 2 years, I failed a lot of courses I shouldn’t have.  And it was not because I was dumb or just didn’t understand a lot of stuff, my work ethic just SUCKED and I didn’t even care enough.

I got a 13% in Linear Algebra in first term…you’re probably saying how is that possible?!?  It shouldn’t be..I just did not do ANYTHING for the course…I didn’t study, I didn’t do the assignments, started skipping class a month into the term.  I barely passed physics..and i don’t know how I managed an 80 in chem.  But I went from a 90average student to a 50average, right in first term..simply because i did not work hard.

The next 3 terms went by similarly.  You would think I would learn my lesson, but i didn’t… at least not right away.  I failed 2 of the basic biol courses because I didn’t show up to the mandatory tutorials enough and missed out on too much marks there, even though I passed my exam.  There was a term where I was so behind that I just gave up and didn’t show up for the exam!  SO bad right?  I know all you school workaholics (jkingss) are probably wide mouthed right now.

I just didn’t care enough…

That’s why I’m so THANKFUL this term.  I’m still procrastinating like crazy, but now I’m actually doing all my work and assignments no matter how late or how much work there was.  I’m not giving up so easily…. 

Maybe it took 2 years for me to finally get why I’m here and what I should be doing.  But I thank God that He’s shown me and given me more motivation to do well.  I can’t say I understand the concept of what it means to glorify God in everything I do completely.  But I do know that if I can’t even handle the little trials that I face here in school, then I won’t be able to handle the bigger tasks in life that God will call me to do.  How can I serve God, when I can’t even handle a little work here in university?  I need to learn to trust Him and work for Him!  And even though, marks aren’t everything, how would it look if I say I’m a Christian, but am I complete slacker?  How can I help others and have a life of integrity, when I can’t even put effort or work hard when I need to in school?

By God’s grace, I’ll be able to come out of this term having done a lot better academically.  I still worry that I won’t do well, but I need to rely on God and just keep on persevering!